Tuesday, September 23
F*%ck Aladdin
This is a confession - and I hope no one will think less of me for sharing.
I was definitely in the camp of those who vowed not to allow their kid to watch any televsion. After all, my mother didn't let me watch it and I turned out ok. NOT! To be fair, I rarely watch tv but on the rare occasion that one is in my vicinity and switched on I become a complete zombie. So that was the psychology behind A & I sticking T in front of the telly for the first time when she was...well... what does it matter anyway. Turn her a zombie temporarily so we can have a good old fashioned romp! (Decent programs obviously like Charlotte's Web, Mary Poppins, Sesame Street - no commercials of course which would make them rude and obnoxious!) After all, who has the energy for a shag when the children are finally in bed. Morning shag - if you are lucky enough to have kids that wake up after you, then perhaps. And any self-righteous parent who swears they never allow tv is obviously not getting any.
Was I wrong to think that Aladdin might be mildly educational? Why not introduce T to some of her Middle Eastern heritage while ma & pa get it on in the other room. Degenerate negligent pervs!
Well our libidinous motives have at last caught up with us. T had been acting like a right little shit for a few days. She would stomp her feet, cross her arms defiantly and say "I can make my own decisions now!" We racked our brains for answers. Must be the move, being in a foreign place, the weiner schnitzel... 4 year olds simply don't pull that out of thin air. Particularly when that 4 yr old is in Germany where she doesn't understand or interact much with English-speaking kids. Then it dawned on us - it's that f%@*king little slut Jasmine! We watched the movie. Sure enough there's a scene where a liberated Jasmine crosses her arms angrily and turns to the Sultan yelling "I can make my own decisions now!"
Some would call it hubris. It's been a week we've yet to break her of that line. One thing's for sure, it's back to Mary Poppins you little trollop! Or maybe a book...
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